lords

the lords have lost their luster
they no longer shine so bright
and the confidence i muster
only gets me through the night


the princes ive selected
have only let me down
thought and recollected
go on give up your crown


so what, i think its true
every girl should be a princess
and when i chose you
i guess that i just misread

last call

sorry to call you so late at night
i was trying to go to bed, but something was on my mind
before i jumped to conclusions i figured id just ask
cause i cant move on, until im done with the past
before i start, im just glad that you picked up
i dont think we'll talk again, unless your answer is enough
maybe calling you this late in the game is useless now
three years with you, i dont know how to do without
youre every unwanted cliche, every storybook prince
and ill admit ive compared everyone to you since
not having someone to fall back on, is what i fear the most
thats why i keep holding on, when i really should let go
this is it, my final question, it has been all along
and then ill let you go and slowly move on
did any of it mean anything, if not then thats cool too
just wanted to make sure before i fell back in love with you
before you say anything know, that this call was hard for me
and when you say what you will, say it sincerely
i really should go, but say it and ill stay
ive had too much  fun to have it any other way
i still believe you are good, i dont want anyone else
but its never going to be mutual, ill stop kidding myself
maybe down the road, though, youll find me
if its supposed to happen, someday it will be
december haunts me, i miss it so much
but now, time will decide if its love or lust
anyways, forget my question, thank you for your time
i think ill just go now, so, nevermind

until goodbye

when fate steps in

and its all you got

and you think youll win

think you’ve got a shot

feels like everythings new

but it’s the same old game

and you wish you knew

they cant just change their ways

you think that everyones good

until they prove you wrong

didn’t think they would

should’ve known all along

not many can be trusted

in a town so small

for you, you lusted

but for me, I fall

picking up all the pieces

beginning again

give me a reason

to still call you a friend

impressions are made

before people are known

i may have been afraid

but I am not alone

wish you could have seen

what I was holding inside

ill live vicariously

through this vision in mind

if you had let your guard down

and gotten to know

something couldve been found

but now our chances are blown

maybe its never too late

redemption follows you

a picture to recreate

please follow through

im not saying id change

but I could be anything

trust ill stay the same

i wanna give you everything

promises break weakened hearts

the possibility exists

give up, if I was remotely smart

but you I cant resist

so light another  cigarette

and give me one more try

ill give you nothing to regret

at least until goodbye

galvanization

hurt, lonely and desperate
you walked in, and we were destined
cause anything you are, is everything i like
youre surely unexpected
and this feeling accepted
is something ill take with me tonight



fairytales and fiction
fits my new boy addiction
cinderellas shoe, never would have guessed
reach beneath the surface
its new but i deserve this
ive waited long so lets put this to the test


tatoos on your arm
with your sarcastic charm
captivated by your immense allure
sexy crooked smile
makes me wanna go wild
exactly what ive been holding out for


arbitrary fascination
with the way my heart is racin
i have never really felt this kind of anxiety
ignoring my precedents
to accomodate your ambience
my heart strings pull, making me believe

as if

i keep waiting for a rainbow
as if it hadnt rained enough
i keep looking out the window
as if the storm will clear up


i never should of told you that i fell in love
cause you put the brakes on and it tore me up
no i never shouldve told you, shouldve given up
cause now im trippin on a vision
and its clouding up


i keep waiting for the unknown
as if i already know enough
i keep waiting for your ringtone
as if a call would make it up


i never should of told you that i fell in love
cause you put the brakes on and it tore me up
no i never shouldve told you, shouldve given up
cause now im trippin on a vision
and its clouding up

this is happening

the lights went down
with the music loud
in a sensual crowd
somehow, its you ive found


were face to face
your hands are on my waist
we move, its so unchaste
im wondering how youd taste


your hands are underneath
and the way you touch me
i just cannot believe
this is happening


is it the atmosphere
that makes you feel sincere
cause its my greatest fear
tomorrow, you wont be here


but as i try to convey
the music plays
lets just get carried away
tomorrows a whole other day

mommy

being a mother is not an easy task
yet you do it everyday, no matter what is asked
its crazy how much i need you
our love is genuine, and deeply true
a day without you, i cannot go
my time with you is precious, so lets take it slow
the years go by and the days get longer
but our friendship is growing and keeps getting stronger
before you think it it, i am there to speak
before you think it it is done for me
we work so well together, you by my side
i know with you, each mountain i can climb
you let me be fearless and encourage my dreams
and i help you with your worries, we make a great team
mother and daughter, best friends for life
through happiness and laughter, toil and strife
i want to take this time to express gratitude
for the words of encouragement and everything else you do
from your laugh to your cry, i know your voice by heart
youve taught me to accept, belong and be smart
all the things you do and allthe advice you give
is for my own good, a better life to live
i am a better, wiser person all in all
because of your knowledge, and love since i was small
being a mother is hard and trying
but you do it so well, all the while, smiling

thats the way the cookie crumbles

why cant life be like how its on Laguna Beach
gotta have faith in fate, practive what i preach
awaiting the future, believe in what i cant see
if its supposed to happen, then it will be
God wont leave us alone, never lost or stranded
He wont leave us behind, not ever empty handed
Hes got something in store, our destiny
trapped in this life were living, He will set us free
somethings far more better, than we can ever dream
this lifes temporary, thought it may not seem
one day the doors will open for me to step inside
Gods done so much for me, ive at least got to try

loooserrrr

im that girl next door people love to hate
im the one at the dance without a date


its a friday night and im all alone
sitting in my room, staring at the phone


hes the guy i want, the guy i need
hes a jerk to my friends but cool with me


anything hes done, every word hes said
keeps playing back, in my head


doesnt answer my calls, or text me back
but i still like him, after all that


sounds crazy, weird and really strange
but thats my life, wanna trade?

the life of an average pencil

i hear a loud noise
some sort of zipping toy?
then some object reaches for me,
pulls me out and sets me free


it picks me up and walks awhile
then entires a line, single file
it takes my feet and sticks em through
in a machine thats icy cool


something grinds me in a koint
until my feet are in a perfect point
then the object takes me out
i wanna scream, i wanna shout
it turns around and walks some more
while i, myself, am still so sore


it plces me on something smoothe
buts intent was not to soothe
suddenly, it moves around
side to side and up and down


i didnt really want anymore
but it did something uncalled for
it flipped me upside down
then moved me all around


when i heard the noise again
it all stopped, all the pain
then in it threw me
and i sat contently
unware it would happen tomorrow
all the pain and alll the sorrow
so there i lay, next to a stencil
this is the life, of an average pencil

unexpected

as the moonlight shined, our hands intertwined
tell me why, I'm here tonight
a darkened sky, a familiar high
im tryin to find, how this is right


i refuse to believe, that all you see
is an easy me, conveniently
impossible to leave, beneath the trees
so silently, you kiss me


tell me what is, to become of this
a moment at bliss, is now a serious risk
a simple kiss, my narcosis
i am obvious, but your oblivious


we put the bottles down, cue next round
so profound, but I'm tightly wound
i don't see how, I just found
myself here now, on cold ground


a state of mind, a place in time
a moment blind, hold me tight
you were by my side, now your outta sight
im tryin to find how this right

a leaf's lugubrious lot

yes autumn is impeccable, yes autumn is great
but for a frailty like my kind, what is my fate
will i stand here audcious and overconfidently
or will the angst of my jaundiced self, get the best of me



i look down beneath me and see my kaleidoscopic friends
and wait for winter to end the ludicrous trend
i oscillate in the wind watching the myriad of leaves
and wonder if anyone else, sees what i see



they seemed to be having fun, simply carefree
unconcerned, nonchalant, dancing effervescently
it didnt seem too tragic then, this falling to the ground
they laughed so ecstatically, though they didnt make a sound



the wind started picking up, all of a sudden
it was time for me to sail, just like Aladdin
the anticipation was over and it was done
before i knew it the antic had begun



i landed slow and elegantly, on the dirt
back to the tree, i would never revert
i lay there speechless, filled with disbelief
but i assumed this was normal for
a freshly fallen leaf(:

maria blessing olwine

I think its safe to say, that on that historic day, way back in third grade was life changing, call me crazy, but I'll never look at crayons the same. Pack of 64 established that, we had each others backs, predetermined countless laughs. Sure since then we've fought a lot, thing is, we've both moved on, seen past each others faults. I've hated you, you've hated me. But our loves unconditionally. That's why we've lasted so long, seen it out through all our wrongs. Each fall we recovered and each day I rediscover just why iloveyou


So many other best friends only have a title, their other isn't vital, necessary for survival. You are to me, a necessity, while their laughs all seem so empty. A friendship based on gossip and fakeness while ours consists of utter greatness. We laugh and cry, talk and fight. Theres no one else I want by my side. Because iloveyou


Let's go back and think of how  this amazing friendship really came about.


Tic tacs, in plastic bags, in the back of mrs tritts class. Teaching jack what douche is. Sign language, yeah, we were fluent. Me and you trick, oh let's do it. Your not gonna get that last part cause you don't listen to rap. So, uhh, yeah good luck with that. Iloveyou!


We played hangman with pictures from our book, our notes in religion weren't exactly as they looked. That clip from Alyssa that you took? Remember when she asked me if I had seen it? I swear you knew a short round Indian kid. I friggin love you.
Remember leaving the church after graduation? I was out first so I stayed back, waiting. We took our sweet time walking down that hall, looking around staring in awe. It was the place we grew up, the place where we met. We had no friends and yet we were content. Only cause iloveyou


Remember our nautical erasers? In the little blue tin? All our laughs, in every class, we had to hold in? In my car, laughing so dang hard, while that kid got his work out on? Playing barbies in the grass, out on your front lawn?  The I statements made me a better person, you thought it wasn't serious but I was learnin!! Bahahaha that lady was such a joke, her stupid beach balls and her annoying croke. Goodness. Iloveyou.
Back of the theater, knees to our chest. Hyperventilating, Your head on my neck. Obviously, iloveyou


Books fairs, neuolympics, walking the blue line. Renaissance festival, Gettysburg, countless signs. Memories still vivid, alive in my heart. You'll never be replaced, cause were never really apart. I. Love. You.


What Happens in Vegas, best movie ever. Don't get hit by a bus, or do, whatever (but don't) If I could make someone dead with my mind it would be you. Except that's not true. That's definitely not what I'd do. I'd prolly fry your guts and throw them into Parkview. Then I'd throw that into Mexico, man, we were cruel. But Iloveeeeeeeyou!
8th grade talent show, sitting in the back row. Singing Demi's this is me, ended unexpectedly, feeling your fear, ready to wipe away tears, best friend telepathy. I will always love you.


You told me that 15 people think about you before they sleep, so you got out paper just to write it out and see. Who we'd want our 15 to be. Hope I'm one of yours cause your number one to me because Iloveyou.


You are the cheese to my macaroni and
the hot sauce in my cheesaroni!!! Lmao iloveyou


Remember the hotel in Florida, playing cards, while we talked, movie was on but we had a deep heart to heart? Best memory thus far.


I say thus far cause it's not the end. How can it be when your my bestestestest friend? Promise me nothing will change. You won't forget me and love me all the same. I want to be every bit involved in your life. Cause, to be honest, you are mine. By 8 amazing years mo, you should know, that distance doesn't matter. Who cares where you go? Promise me you'll stay true, as corny as it sounds, be you. Cause who you are, deep inside, is a Disney fanatic, well alive. An organized freak, pretty and perfect. Humble and meek, beautiful and worth it. A smart Catholic, and damn proud. Promise me that that Maria Blessing will always be around. Miles won't come between this everlasting friendship. It's a new adventure for you, have a safe tripp((:

2am

she sits there and she feels so ashamed
and your the one to blame
2am the clock ticks away
she kneels and starts to pray
blinded by a fantasty
she didnt realize it until
she stepped back in realitry
and nows its overkill
the thought of disapointment
is what kills her the most
its not like she enjoyed it
its was actually kind of gross
she'll never look at him the same
feeling stupid and betryed
2am the clock ticks away
she kneels and starts to pray

moment of blindness

it was a moment of blindness
but it will will define you
your made up of way too much kindness
what you feel is untrue
stupid boys will come and go
its just a fact to face
their actions are theirs alone
and darlin you just made a mistake
God's forgiven you, your better now
all you need is the one above
dont let anyone get you down
boys never beat out God's love
so lay you head down soubtless babe
and this will all just go away

hmm?!

i feel like ive done this before
sitting here on the floor
cussin your name out, insane
before slammin the door
why am i angry so much? i dont even know anymore
i feel like i should be though,
i feel like i have a reason,
i feel like my heartbeat is the only thing revealing
my exisitence to you,
my resistance to you? is a lost cause,
can we put life on pause?
and just take it off?
can we just do this for real
but itd be foolish to steal
you permanently from her,
my mind temporarily spurrs,
into a fantasy world,
where its just you and me, but that could never be
cause in the back of my mind, everytime, all the time
id know you fucked her over for me
left her so quickly
if you do that so easily, do i have a reason to trust you?
no, but i do
for your sake, i justify every move you make
every game you play
i play it off as okay
why doi do this to myself, keep giving me hell
complain but resude to get help
seem tame, but the truth is imma mess
truth is ive never slept,
a single night with you
outta my mind, its like your there all the time
could you jsut friggin go? fuckin leave me alone?
im obsessed, you think imma hoe
i confess ive put on a show
thats not me on the phone
so maybe its me who should go
and leave you alone
get up, give and leave solo
hah hell no

no judgement

yall all can me pathtic
damn, stop hollerin i get it
i justify myself by sayin
i know his game and im just playin
you still sit there sayin, im crazy
but sucks cause your words dont slightly faze me
well if yall could step back, relax
youd see, we actually on the same beat, him and me
see what yall dont understand is
i got this, i know what his plan is
he plan on hittin it and quittin it
i got what he wants but he aint gettin it
now call me a tease, call me a sleaze please
whatever it may be
but dont go labeling me, so surely, until you see what i see
until you feel what i feel and your feet in my shoes
dont go hatin on every path that i choose
cause while winning is tough
sometimes its harder to lose
there aint another way out though
these choices come in twos
either you win hikm and go
while your friends piss and moan
or you stay home alone
while hes out with these hoes
he seems to have won, this game in his favor
but his outcomes on you, he be made, youre the maker

over you?

i feel trapped, i feel used, i feel stupid and small
do you even see how youve affected me?
and it sucks cause i know you didn't mean it all
you were anxious and cold, i was open and free
i could tell the whole world i dont want you anymore
yeah, i could lay here and say im done with this
youre a selfish, condescending manwhore
i could go back and hope that youd never exsist
but everytime you text me: hey, smiley face
my happiness clouds my judgement
all the bad is swept away

squirrels.are.evil.

deep underground, beneath our feet
a group of squirrels, gathered to meet
they discussed a topic, ever so dangerous
one that would be, the certain end of us
the untrusting creatures, a grimmace to all creation
sat there coyly, planning world domination
theyd take over the world, just watch, one by one
not for pride, now for rights, solely for fun

now there was a leader squirrel, with a moustache so thick
with jet black hair, greased back, so slick
he had a great plan, up in his tree
he twirled his thumbs and laughed, visiously
silly humans, he thought to himself, they dont know a thing
they have no idea what we squirrels are to bring
he called upon his fellow rodents, for a final meeting
cleared his throat, and began reading,

"dear squirrels, great and small,
ive come to tell you about it all
the domination will happen tomorrow
i shall lead, and you shall follow
we'll have the world to ourselves
we'll pull their hair, and raid their shelves,
they wont see it comming, for most love us
but beware, my friends, for this dangerous,
be sneaky and quiet, dont make a peep!
well attack at night, while theyre asleep!!"

that night they fled, out into town
quietly they crept, without a single sound
they snuck into houses, and began our end
squirrels are evil, and our not our friend
so next time, my dear loved one, when you see this rodent
runaway fast, theyll strike at any moment!!!

loves a web

we talk, nonstop, for a, whole week, its just you and me. and then, suddenly, it's like I never existed. did i, imagine all of it? thinking, you actually gave a shit, its like, we never even texted. if there was ever a time when you, didn't wanna be mine, why would you, string me along like that? cause you, knew where i stood with this, knew how I felt about your kiss, i dont understand it, but maybe perhaps


it's cause your a jerk, a player, and a flirt, you kill me with your words, you know what they do. to girls like me, too stubborn to believe, that you wouldn't follow through



i like you, more than I'll admit. falling, is painf'lly dangerous, this known, i found you worth the risk, i had my head up in the clouds. you do, what you do, so well. and I looked but couldn't stop before I fell, they tell, me to come down. if there was ever a time when you, didn't wanna be mine, why would you, string me along like that? cause you, knew where i stood with this, knew how I felt about your kiss, i dont understand it, but maybe perhaps


it's cause your a jerk, a player, and a flirt, you kill me with your words, you know what they do. to girls like me, too stubborn to believe, that you wouldn't follow through



it's been, so long since we talked, and I'm shocked, thought it'd be  really hard. but I'm straight, now your just a memory. even though, I'd rather talk this through, things you said, are simply overdue, don't get me wrong I'll always love you. it's just time to do me. if there was ever a time when you, didn't wanna be mine, why would you, string me along like that? cause you, knew where i stood with this, knew how I felt about your kiss, i dont understand it, but maybe perhaps


it's cause your a jerk, a player, and a flirt, you kill me with your words, you know what they do. to girls like me, too stubborn to believe, that you wouldn't follow through



and I sit here thinking this through, sit here, blaming you. maybe it was my fault, loves a web and I got caught. and I sit here thinking this through, sit here, blaming you. maybe it was my fault, loves a web and I got caught. loves a web and I got caught. Loves web and loves a web and loves a web and I got caught

confessions of a good friend

perfect life. empty living.
perfect smile. laughter missing.
somethings are harder to fake tonight.
their stories are old. ive heard them all by now.
theyve been retold. trying not to let it out.
some things are harder to hold inside.
i wanna know it all, every last bit,
but its not new to me, cause i have witnessed.
all these things before, lying on the floor.
story time is old, cause the stories are retold.

show me who You are

i wanna fall in love with You again
show me who You are
all these voices in my head
are tearing me apart
i see the light, it isnt far
show me who You are


i wanna fall in love with you again
show me who you are
got both my arms outstretched
im open, come and flood my heart
i see the light, it isnt far
Jesus show me who You are

too late

drunken words are sober thoughts,

the truth comes out, the lights turn dark
youre everything i wish i didnt need
the night is young and youre not far

youre close enough to ignite the spark

tipsy now, while youre eyes intrigue

i believe your words were,

would i be leading you on, making you fall,

by doing this, a single kiss,

could ruin it all

i said belive me its fine, your not outta line,

cause im on call, too late to fall

i know this isnt right

drunken words are sober thoughts
dont let me go, i wont move on
cause everything is not what it seems
you tell me no, but i hear yes
no good will come, of this mess

i feel tied down, even though i am free

i believe your words were,

would i be leading you on, making you fall,

by doing this, a single kiss,

could ruin it all

i said belive me its fine, your not outta line,

cause im on call, too late to fall

i know this isnt right

drunken words are sober thoughts

youre everything that i am not

but nothing that i want to be

you pull me in, too close to tell

calm me down, you know me well

so hhow is it that you cannot see?

i believe your words were,

would i be leading you on, making you fall,

by doing this, a single kiss,

could ruin it all

i said belive me its fine, your not outta line,

cause im on call, too late to fall

i know this isnt right