my girls

her hearts been broken
she feels so inadequate
but she's too soft spoken
but why won't he commit?
thoughts keep her up at night
people telling her she's weak
one more year,  keep up the fight
shes the strongest girl you'll ever meet

she feels so strongly
never wants to let go
she's been done so wrongly
feeling hurt and hollow
she's grown up so much now
no longer shy and meek
turned her life around
she's the strongest girl you'll ever meet

she'd give him anything
except what he wants
proud she wears that ring
as temptation taunts
works hard to play hard
the world sits at her feet
she plays all the right cards
and she's the strongest girl you'll ever meet

different battles
different fears
living learning
beyond their years
guards build up
hearts recline
knowledge grows
in passing time
racking up
experience
take the world with
confidence
you're beautiful, live faithfully
you're the strongest girls I'll ever meet

someday

your eyes they blaze through me
looking down smiling lazily
messy hair, tousled tastefully

eyes alive crazed, they dance
weak, my knees don't stand a chance
enticed by your slow romance

walk around the pool table
rest your finger at my navel
have to breathe; I'm hardly able

locking eyes as you progress
feathered kissed on my neck
shriving, I am out of breath

hands gentle upon my face
leaves no time to contemplate
dizzy, the bar fades away

suddenly, I hear my name
look across as you say hey
smiling, I think disarrayed...


someday.

dreamer

she was dreamer
an avid believer
always jumped in with both feet
her head the clouds
refusing to come down
assuming the best of who she meets
trust was unquestioned
until it was mentioned
she would believe you blindly
an innocent angel
you swept into hell
deceived by the veil you wore kindly
that is enough now
she picked up and got out
something shes done so constantly
defeated and used
shes empty, unmoved
ready and waiting with her heart on her sleeve
she wasnt scared
she was too prepared
all she wanted was to be saved
another frog kissed
how many more till a prince
she just wants to feel okay

so much closer

i get that this is crazy,

I might be asking a lot

but I think we’re capable,

and Lord knows ive waited long enough

i get your hearts been broken,

shut off to loves exposure

but you know that this feels right,

and I just need you so much closer

breath into me tonight babe

forget the world exists

and as the candles burn down

into your arms well kiss

its always been me and you

you know we were never over

can we forget the past?

cause I just need you so much closer

temporary

Miss me baby

It’s all I want

Kiss me baby

It’s all my fault

Hear me whisper

Soft at night

Feel my eyes burn

But I’m alright

Say you’re sorry

At least for now

Pray my worries

Soon wear out

This town is small

But you are nowhere

My frown is long

But you don’t care

Sense my heart bleed

Just for you

See what id seen

Make it come true

You hold the key

To my happiness

But you lock the door

With a goodbye kiss

I slide to the ground

Now it is over

Head in my knees

So this closure

wind

its kinda a lonely night

even the seas think so

but as they pass on by

the wind whispers cold

talks about a prince

says hes gonna be all mine

says that hes convinced

that he’ll be here at the right time

tells me he’ll treat me right

tells me he’ll be everything

that I wish for at night

and even more than I can dream

says he’ll cherish my heart

and accept me as is

that’s a great start

but wind tell me this

will he honor my wants

and desire my hopes

and when my past haunts

will he hold me close

will he encourage my betterment

or belittle my dreams

will his motives be heaven sent?

Or laced over greed?

wind whispers in my ear

so closely, I shook

he said my prince is very near

if I would just look

a piece of unfinished work

he still needs some time

but what I have learned

is he will be mine

hurt

Tears spring to her eyes

As she counts the many lies

But doesn’t dare open her mouth

Never voices a single doubt

No, she never says a word

She’s addicted to the hurt

She feels a tear leave her eye

Curls up, and tries to hide

She wishes she could runaway

Happiness outweighed by pain

She’s pleased one too many guys

They’ve left her cold with broken lines

Told her things that made her smile

Then left her in denial

Her mistakes have become proof

That she’s hiding from the truth

Her heart twists and somersaults

She tries to believe it’s not her fault

But her walls are crashing down

And no ones to be found

She feels so fucking hollow

A fake smile she’s borrowed

From a better past

How long will this last

She hurts inside

She isn’t safe in her own mind

She crawls back into her bed

Escaping from her head

She’s better off dead

Everyone’s better off with her dead

fail

I’ve failed so many times

But Lord knows that I’m trying

Something keeps me coming back for more

The hope I hold is thinning

You grin, because you are winning

The devil in me evens out the score

If I could let go of my pride

I’d lock myself up and I’d hide

Envisioning what never could begin

Mystery surrounds you

Victim, I play fool

But I knew this would happen again

and you

I wanna be somebodys everything

Not anybodys something

A mess ive made creates a space

Between where my memories fade

And you

Stars fall from the sky

Into your sleepy green eyes

Time makes its way

Between where my memories fade

And you

Peripatetic, I wander about

Thinking of how

You drive me insane

Between where my memories fade

And you

we would get it right

If it was me and you, forever, standing side by side
If it was me and you, instead of her, whispering at night
If it was me and you, me and you, we would get it right

we could forgive our past, knowing this would last
we could move foward together, and never look back

If it was me and you, finally, after all this time
If it was me and you, together, and she was out of sight
If it was me and you, me and you, we would get it right

we could forgive mistakes, overlook past ways
we could move foward, with better days

If it was me and you, exclusive, things would be just fine
If it was me and you, against the world, we could make the fight
If it was me and you, me and you, we would get it right
 

questions

where is the love that I was promised

where are the reasons I believed

why do your eyes look so astonished

when I was the one who couldn’t see

how can I find my way back now

everything seems so unreal

why do feel so alone now

when I was the one who made this deal

am I allowed to feel the way I do

is it okay if I fall

how can my whole world move around you

and yours not at all

cause I fall too fast

crash too hard

I care too much

and im slow to move on

think too big

and i wait too long

i love too much

and I feel too strong

magnets

if youre a magnet, im attracted
ive never felt more alive
infatuated, ive contemplated
danger in your eyes

if this is all well ever be
then darling kiss me goodbye
cause it is you, that i still see
for only, id cry

im okay with unfair endings
ive done them once or twice
but we need just need stop pretending
and you need to tell me why

cause if youre a magnet, im attracted
ive never felt more alive
times restictive, but youre addictive
danger in your eyes

id say that im broken
but ive never felt better
every whisper spoken
pulls us together

convicne myself im alright
and i will walk away
but if you kiss me tonight
you know that i will stay

cause if youre a magnet, im attracted
ive never felt more alive
cause its alarming, how you are charming
danger in your eyes


 

imagine

by now you're in bed, trying to sleep

tossing and turning, are you thinking of me?

do you ever go back and remember that night

will I be in your dreams, like you are in mine

have you ever laid down, and thought of "what if"

can you still feel my skin and the taste of my lips

imagine how close I could get by your side

the whole house asleep in the dead of the night

you'd whisper hello with icy cold breath

holding me down, your lips graze my neck

and as theyd find mine, your hands on my face

wed turn around and Id straddle your waist

youd take it from there; show me things I don't know

my heads in the clouds, but your hands are down low

imagine my fingers pressing into your back

my body lifting as we interact

your fingers in my hair, wed reflect on pleasure

me in your arms, wed lay there together

but you are not here, and I am alone

tears in my eyes, I pick up the phone

by now I'm in bed, I'm trying to sleep

turn off my phone; I'll see you in my dreams

june be good to me

june be good to me
cant you see the real smile on my face
cant you feel your breath sweeping away
hope is what i taste
tell me this is real

june be good to me
cant you see desire for better days
cant you see me breaking from my phase
i havent felt this way
what is this new appeal

june be good to me
cant you see ive broken from that place
cant you see ive restored all my faith
ive broken from my chains
as i slowly heal

june be good to me
cant you see im done with this chase
cant you feel the darkness lift away
summers warm enbrace
i love the way this feels

strangers

started as strangers, as unlikely friends

that night in October, our story begins

a head rush, something new filled in my heart

it ended just before anything could start

excited I gave in to every request

longing for you I tried hard to impress

feeble and stupid I cherished your words

lonely, I sit now, bewildered and hurt

how did I let a stranger bring me down

mindful, I force my guard up now

I have to remember I did nothing wrong

continue to push forth, and try to move on

walking away you laugh coldheartedly

judging, but you never even knew me

started as strangers, as unlikely friends

that night in April, our story ends

sinking

hiding from the clouds

from the rain you welcomed down

building up my walls, higher than ever

my guard is up now

the flame is burning out

its still you that I want, forever

deepening now

I dream about

The way we could be together

Been all around

Still haven’t found

Someone who knew me better

running from the sound

of their pessimistic doubt

they try to tell me, never

losing our ground

sinking, we drown

in love, lets go wherever

jump

she feels so low,

she doesn’t want to move

her skeletons hollow,

truth is breaking through

her heart is tired,

she can’t even cry

her every desire

is now a goodbye

you haven’t see her slipping,

or crying at night

you haven’t heard the ripping,

of her heart inside

all you see is a happy girl,

fooling herself

lying to the whole world,

being someone else

in the daytime, she’s hiding;

the sleeves come off at night

the echoes reminding,

she’s best friends with the knife

with a mastered practiced smile,

the nights what she awaits

hadn't feared all this time,

but now she hesitates

both feet on the railing,

a slip could end it all

at this too, she’s failing,

why does she stall?

why does she stall?

somewhere down this road

hoping, I stood there for longer than you deserved

broken, I waited, do you see how im hurt

excuses I made for your own sorry sake

you took as prizes in your stupid games

youve drained all the life

from my tired, hollow eyes

I hope that youre happy now, cause

maybe not tomorrow

and definitely not today

but somewhere down this road

youre gonna wish I had stayed

youre gonna realize  what I had seen

before I walked away

oh somewhere down this road

youre gonna wish I had stayed

defeated, our chapters a page now turned

slowly, I let go of your empty words

I tried to love you through all your faults

so how is it that, youre the one to have moved on

you’ve drained all the life

from my tired, hollow eyes

so I hope that youre happy now, cause

maybe not tomorrow

and definitely not today

but somewhere down this road

youre gonna wish I had stayed

youre gonna realize  what I had seen

before I walked away

oh somewhere down this road

youre gonna wish I had stayed

insanity

there’s a villain inside of you

he leads you on then speaks of truth

his heart is made of fool’s gold

his talk is new, intentions old

fiction pleas are captivating

whispers sweet, you are elating

sees you low, he takes advantage

vulnerable, he does his damage

conscience please, where is your help

turn me into somebody else

untangle me from his restraint

let go so I can runaway

to be great is to be misunderstood

insanity will do you good

crazily, the voices call

telling you to drop it all

body, mind, soul, and pride

leave it all far behind

the best is yet to come, they say

but you can make the best today

rid yourself of false allure

bless your heart with what is pure

break the expected orthodox

instead, just do what you want

you are your own worst enemy

you won’t go far until you see

there’s a villain inside of you

he leads you on then speaks of truth

trying

she tries to paint a picture of her future in the sky

but the tears rolling down her cheekbones give light to her disguise

so princess won’t you tell me what’s on your troubled mind

she composes her face, lies and fakes a smile

hesitates to make him cry, but she’s survived a thousand nights alike

she thinks twice to call him cold, though she knows, he’s lost without a soul

she slowly opens her mouth, trying to bravely think out loud

but she doesn’t know how to go about, voicing her fears and doubts

alone, at last

he says break your shell and make your move
shy she stalls, silence continues
nervous, she stares at his smile
here they are after all this time
thinking of the three years past
face to face, alone at last
he says "just do it cause I want it too
but tonight it has to come from you"
50/50 they compromise
as she leans in by his side
the way his lips feel on hers
the way they move, shatters the earth
she pulls him onto her, being bold
he holds her tight and takes control
in his arms, she feels so safe
perfect night, worth the wait
on his chest, against the couch
she wonders what's to happen now
they fall asleep, he rubs her side
she flashes back to a harder time
he had told her, then, not to fall
he didn't want to lead her on
but there he lays squeezing her shoulder
if only she were three years older
she opens her eyes, and admires his face
he looks back, how can he not feel the same
thinking of the three years past
face to face, alone at last

chin up beautiful

no one has your eyes
no one shines as bright
so chin up beautiful
everything's going to be alright


mistakes are mistakes
today's a brash new day
so chin up beautiful
everything's going to be okay


you're talents beyond compare
face em if you dare
chin up beautiful
strut without a care


their shallow talks pathetic
learn but don't regret it
chin ip beautiful
soon they'll all forget it


your perfect how you are
blessed with a big heart
so chin up beautiful
shine through the dark


by yes are your peers
don't you waste your tears
chin up beautiful
and know I'm always  here


there will be no sign
truth will come in time
so chin up beautiful
boldly speak your mind

some gloomy title

darker skies cloud over
middle of october
candles burning darkness away
a day turns me older
as the night turns colder
and suddenly I'm alone, a single flame


pathetic I've fallen
angels are callin
i will never be the same
fear keeps me stalling
death keeps me crawling
i've only got me to blame


mistakes are haunting
tragedy is taunting
mimicking my every attempt
bitter nights daunting
love around is flaunting
endless stage of contempt

sorry

if I said that I wanted to kill myself

would you stop me or try to help

cause all of this useless

sitting here worthless

sorry

if I hung a rope around my neck

tighten till theres nothing left

or grab a knife

and end my life

sorry

ill never amount to much

never be good enough

desperate cries

drown out my eyes

sorry

i wish a murderer was in my closet

do he could do the job, and leave me in my coffin

or jump off the balcony

please don’t be mad at me

sorry

i’m honestly good for nothing

when I smile, darling, im bluffing

exhausted of the regret

criteria I haven’t met

sorry

youre not pretty, youre fat and dumb

youre going nowhere so just give up

theres no more hope for you

you always lose

there always somebody better

theres no hope for you

this is the truth

so ill leave with you this letter

sorry

brody's truck

there are a thousand lights in your eyes tonight

kaleidoscope of colors make the prettiest green

a million unspoken words, silence, but all are heard

the walls fade out, and youre all I can see

your smile is destructive, seamlessly seductive

anxiously unbuckle the passenger seat

windows fogged in your car, rain beats down so hard

nervously we shuffle till our lips meet

it gradually intensifies, passion with our closed eyes

my hands running all through your hair

pushed against the car door, weak, our breaths fall short

all the way, right now, i dont care
eyes locked, this moment, trouble, we foment

reluctantly i let go of your hand
a whispered “I love you”, mutual but overdue
finally, together we stand

to be loved

to be loved, like nothing ever was

to be wanted, cause you alone were enough

to trust someone with all your heart

to never want to be apart

to be more than just a toy

to be one girl to just one boy

to care, for someone in that way

to fall deeper in love, with each passing day

to  enjoy their company forever

to know, that youre perfect together

to feel weightless and free

to have life better than your dreams

to understand a life, better than your own

to know youre never, ever alone

to be unable to get permanently upset

to be the one person theyre most happy to have met

to be their hardest goodbye

to have them always at your side

to be their  favorite hello

to have two make one soul

to not question every move you make

to be you and never fake

to able to let your guard down

to talk without a single sound

to quit all the games

to have both feel the same

to be the best thing in their life

to have everything feel so right

to leave, and know that you are missed

to live fully in childish bliss

to never let go, cause you in their arms

is everything, they could ever want

to be loved, to be loved.